「Reimagine」，在給這個欄目起名的時候，我掃視著書桌上擺著的書籍，想要從中找一些靈感，忽然兩本相鄰的書讓我眼前一亮，它們的標題都是以「Reimagine」開始，這個巧合似乎暗藏著這個時代的趨勢：reimagine，一種急欲從定義、認知層面，顛覆對舊有事物的想像的渴望，進而灌入全新的、前所未有的，甚至是離經叛道的創造。

這似乎與《合·未道》的願景有著異曲同工之處，所以這個欄目是一個實驗場，就言說信仰、生命、世界等一切話題，在這裡可以無的放矢，沒有前設和門檻，甚至沒有所謂新聞寫作的標尺，真正地做到暢所欲言，看看這樣的百無禁忌，有沒有可能讓一些耳熟能詳的事物、名詞、思潮⋯⋯煥發新的生機。

每一期的Reimagine，都會就著某一個議題或者現象，廣邀不同背景的作者發表自己的看法。而第一期的主題來源於Hub Church三週年崇拜上，數位轉會會友的信仰見證。大庭廣眾的公開見證，往往給人千篇一律八股文之感。然而這次分享卻讓不少會眾意外地感動，皆因他們的見證雖然有共通之處——曾經離教或近乎放棄信仰，卻在Hub Church重思更重拾信仰——但毫無循規蹈矩之處的分享從形式到內容都千奇百趣，有人用PPT，更有人以歌曲寄情。感動不僅因為形式新穎，更因為每個人獨特的講故事的方式，都是對自我最坦誠而深入的剖白。

所以第一期的Reimagine，便是透過他們的誠摯心聲，帶領讀者重塑對於信仰的想像。

– 胡清心

Sikying:

The past year, from September 2023 when I first visited Hub Church for its second anniversary to September 1, 2024, when I became a member, has been the best year of my life in so many ways.

To be honest, the quality of the sermons has been the determining factor in my desire to join this church. In addition to the Sunday messages, the “Living the Question" study group and the interfaith dialogues on Christianity and Buddhism have been invaluable in helping me address the crucial issues of life and death.

What has been especially meaningful is being part of our vibrant civil society once again. By sharing our diverse perspectives and engaging in open-minded discourse, we have built a space for the free exchange of ideas. This feels like a return to the kind of civil society I had longed for — one characterized by respectful debate, a genuine desire to learn from one another, and a commitment to the common good.

Pastor Tim asked me half-jokingly the other day,

“People here really like you, but you’re already used to being liked. How does the feeling now differ from before?”

I am truly grateful that some people appreciate my presence. It’s comforting to feel accepted. But how is my presence different now compared to a few years ago?

In my past life as an academic — or perhaps I should say my life in the past — I was always driven and focused on specific goals I wanted to achieve. I would seek out those close to me to join in my pursuits. Now, my goals have changed; they are less about my projects and more about being part of a faith community.

I feel liberated that I am not the leader or central figure of any group. I no longer feel the need to mobilize others for projects. Pastor Tim has kindly taken on that burden, allowing us to simply enjoy our Sunday services and the friendship of a different kind — it’s not about how much we like each other, but how we can be part of each other’s spiritual journeys.

I look forward to continuing this journey, embracing the challenges and joys that lie ahead, and being a part of something larger than myself.

Kylie:

My journey through grad school has been a profound testament to the idea that despite challenges, God always provides. From unexpected educational opportunities at HKU to a last-minute full scholarship to study in the U.K., each step of my path has shown that divine support can come when least expected. This journey reconnected me with my faith, especially during times of struggle, such as facing funding rejections and employment uncertainties. My work with special needs children and recent opportunities have not only aligned perfectly with my skills but also fulfilled a deeper purpose that I believe was divinely appointed. As I move forward, I am deeply grateful for the blessings and guidance that have been evident throughout my life, affirming my reconnection with faith and the belief that God’s provision is both mysterious and perfectly timed.

Janelle:

要投入或重新投入一個信仰群體不是一件容易的事。我衷心感謝在Hub勇敢展示自己不安、焦慮、迷失，以及力量、勇氣和信念的每一位。你們讓我能夠自然而然地被接納，並展現真實的自己。在這個過程中，我逐漸鼓起勇氣，重新開始我的spiritual journey-ing。

而在這個與你們結伴同行的過程中：
I commit to BE,
and I commit to be ME when I am with you.
I commit to dare,
I commit to dare to be,
and I commit to dare to belong.

Christine:

〈堂會巨伏〉

「其實我一聽到人地自介自己係基督徒，我內心已經起哂alarm。」

我係信左耶穌十年嘅基督徒，以前大學初信時期都好上心，join 學傳FES 學校團契教會團契，又傳福音又帶查經又做下啲教會帶頭嘅社會服務之類。唔知幾時開始，我見到有傳福音嘅人走過黎同我傾偈，我會立即想快快腳離開。如果不幸又比佢地捉住左，我會將我身上十字架頸鏈拿拿林係件T shirt 底下面抆出黎比佢地睇，務求佢地發現我唔係佢哋嘅目標人物比我平安離去。一般情況下，當對方知道我表明「自己身份」之後，雙方都會好黎好去咁假假地咁互道平安祝福下大家。我亦遇過一啲見你係基督徒要黎「教化」下你同你辯論一番嘅「熱心舉動」——例如「三福派」會係走黎問下你覺得如果你宜家一刻死左你會唔會上到天堂，「學傳派」可能會同你講下「被聖靈充滿嘅真理」，有啲冷門嘅話係大學嘅教授搞嘅團契，又有啲會黎同你講人係有「靈、魂、體」。做左幾年基督徒嘅我，深深地發覺原來早期初信比教會/信仰組織係咁被動員嘅我真係好煩膠，我係街上比「熱心基督徒」嘅感受就係覺得好煩，放過我啦大佬。

只不過，以上經歷極其量都係覺得某啲基督徒行為好kam啫，唔應該係未到會令我覺得要alerting 嘅。我對基督徒嘅好負面印象大概係由自己徒初信比教會/信仰團體重點「栽培」，到瘋狂engage 各種事奉活動責任到有日overload到頂唔緊，我決定cut off 所有事奉，同組織同教會表示停止所有例行事奉同埋會不定期出席崇拜開始，我開始感覺到，原來係教會「冇做野（事奉）」、「冇出席」，會漸漸比教會嘅人覺得你「唔熱心」、「唔順服」。啲牧師傳道可以會得閒潤下你（比說話你聽）係做咩唔係度，待遇同初信時期一個天一個地。到我漸漸意識到，原來no show 就會係教會度no state and no care。我感覺原來自己其實一直只係呢個系統裏面被當為嘅human resources，員工productivity低（利用價值低） 自然就唔會擺resources 去佢嘅身上。諗到呢一環，我覺得自稱好講愛嘅教會，好有反差地，都好虛偽下。

我有聽過一種講法「呢啲教會團契其實係出租家人，當你地係教會setting 活動好似好熱絡，一離開呢個setting 就好似冇左個關係咁。」的確係，我三年前離開自己初信就番嘅教會，當中除左本身係比較熟絡嘅一個姊妹（本身係中學師妹）、另一個我主動搵佢食飯飲酒嘅朋友，同埋我呀哥之外，基本上係我指我唔再出席教會活動同團契一星期之間，毫無聯繫了。大佬我大大話話係呢個團契6年，個團契都只係十週年鬆少少咁，就算做6年個個星期五晚都會見嘅同學，都未至於會一星期之間斷聯？而我心底內覺得，如果我哥唔係我呀哥，基本上假設我地係教會setting 識嘅，或許都會突然斷聯了。個頭話十週年大家主內弟兄姊要一同主內成長好開心好感動激動，然而到「唔再番黎」就慘變「合約完結」嘅感覺。啲教會將啲美好願望煲得越大，殘酷現實嘅差距就越大力兜巴兜巴冚落我塊面上。

教會制造虛偽同集體失常？

我本身信耶穌好開心架，但自從教會要求我要有所謂熱誠嘅模樣同行為，我就漸漸要強裝係佢哋想我似嘅人，漸漸失去左自己。但，我唔係唯一一個，好多係教會嘅人都會強行吸收哂所謂「熱心信仰」嘅模牌。「每日都要靈修，要恆常教會活動，得閒幫手帶下團契週會/兒童主日學/崇拜幫手帶敬拜領詩（下省一千字）之類之類。」全部都關於你要做啲乜嘢所以你就係個好基督徒哈哈哈哈（in my厭世口吻笑聲）

荒謬嘅係，有一年教會同其他教會搞咗個跨堂會嘅奮興營，教會牧師邀請兩個返工返到爆曬計Burn Out晒嘅人入camp帶組，兩個都係Introvert，一個係99% Introvert，另一個係工作上大壓力到情緒都出問題嘅狀況，喺團契裏面佢哋分享佢哋應承會入camp帶組嘅心路歷程係，一個勁頹咁講：「雖然我有社交恐懼，我當為神突破我自己啦」，另一個就話「其實我工作上面啲嘢真係搞唔掂，我情緒都好差好想要me time好想唔去，但係牧者叫到我去我就當我為神出一分力啦。」我望住佢哋兩個不停不願苦瓜乾嘅樣一頭問號，心諗其實你哋咁攰就唔應該去啦，等自己好好休息開開心心，做好工作份內事咪仲好啦。不過現場其他人流露出讚嘆嘅表情，講話「你哋真係好有信心啊」，「好感動，好感人。」我望到現場啲人咁嘅反應我更加係一頭問號「呢班人係咪撞壞咗個腦，你仲唔快啲關心吓佢哋幾近崩壞嘅身心靈？牧者明知佢哋狀態差到咁嘅地步，點解又呃又氹叫佢哋做埋啲咁唔適合佢哋性格做嘅嘢呢？」

適逢呢一個camp好似唔夠人去，其中一個牧者喺團契個group裏面講，「大家都返咗工咁耐，都係時候要去教會奮興營補一補吓靈命啦。」呢句聽到我更滿頭問號：「所以你嘅人際關係工作問題，情緒低落可以求其去幾日camp就好得返晒，聽幾堂唔知講得好唔好嘅道就會靈命好？唔好而反智得唔得？」「呢啲叫豐盛嘅生命？唔好再嚇我了。」不過呢啲話我都係留返喺心底裏面唔會喺教會場合講出嚟，因為講真心話係會比教會人士懲罰㗎，I learnt too much lessons from it，所以如果我控制到嘅話我就會好虛偽咁講啲冠冕堂皇嘅教會式對話/或者盡量唔講嘢，盡量避免喺教會裏面過多嘅衝突。

我同以前間教會以前都出過衝突，當然喺啲所謂教會敏感嘅議題上提出唔係主流嘅睇法會遭到強烈反對係好平常發生嘅。例如同牧者傾訴吓同男朋友相處上嘅問題，咁啱提及過信主之前曾經同女仔拍拖，嗰個傳道人忽然企左係身問我你唔覺得咁樣係罪咩，我當時成個呆咗，大佬我嗰陣未信耶穌呢，真心好冇同理心。呢啲咁平常發生冇同理心嘅事都出現咗好多次，去到後來我自然地傾啲相對敏感嘅話題就會搵非基督徒朋友傾，同啲基督徒教會人士就會講啲好流好表面唔會撞板嘅事。

可笑嘅係，教會（to be specific嗰間堂會）總係話大家一家人，但係佢哋冇辦法同我一齊真正嘅同行，陪伴我好多低落歲月嘅係一班愛我錫我同理我嘅非基督徒aka 教外人士aka 冇福音嘅人呢。「我寧願信教會愛人事都唔會再信教會人士㗎啦。」呢個諗法已經深深即刻喺我啲杏仁體（負責處理情緒反應的腦部）神經迴路裏面。恆常返緊教會嘅人太少正常人了吧哭哭！仲同我keep close嘅信仰同伴，全部都係離開教會嘅朋友仔，其實係唔係教會一直喺度劣幣驅逐良幣😂？我諗That’s why我喺街上面或者新識一啲一嚟就自稱基督徒嘅朋友，我就會打個冷震，內心嘅警號就會響起「嘩嘩嘩有伏啊，係基督徒啊！」